Cover Letter
To Whom It May Concern:
I am very glad that you enter my blog and read my writing portfolio. I am a junior in Fudan University and major in Computer Science. Thank you for reading my blog first. I take English as my second language and entered Advanced Academic Writing this semester, taught by Mr. Ron. After learning from the course, I improved my English a lot since the course trained us a lot.
In most classes, we always take the first five minutes to write freely. We are given a title and can write every thing we think of without caring grammar and spelling mistakes. We write continually and what we want is just to write out what occurs to us. It attempts to let us master the ability that things can come to mind continually. This can improve our English level.
I read four funny stories from <International Story>. For every story I should write a read log and reply two to others’ read log. The four stories I read are very interesting. The first story is The Necklace, written by Gue de Maupassant. It tells a story about a poor woman Mme. Loisel lost the necklace borrowed from her friend and worked hard for ten years to pay back the necklace. The second story, The Americanization of Shadrach Cohen, written by Bruno Lessing, tells a story about Shadrach Cohen refused Americanized life style and finally changed his son’s values. The third story, Dead Men’s Path, written by Chinua Achebe, tells a story about Michael Obi, who tried to manage a school well into a excellent one, but at last he failed because he closed the ancestral footpath by force. The last story, The Grass-Eaters, written by Krishnan Varma, tells a story about an Indian refugee, told his unimaginable life in a tender way. I read the story and write my thoughts. First it is really hard for me to write out my thoughts. Slowly, I became practiced to write out what I thought of. I think it is a improvement.
The class has three timed writings. The timed writing is that we are given 45 minutes and a title, then in the limited time we write a article about the title. Since there exists a time limit, I have pressure on writing. While I was writing, I always had to consider the left time and to think about what I should write during the left time. It is a kind of train of writing under pressure.
I selected The Necklace as the main story to write my articles. I wrote three drafts. The first was the origin, and the next two were modified edition. Before writing the first draft, I managed to develop a thesis statement. First I can’t do it, but after the analysis about how to develop a thesis statement in the class, I learned the skill. Then with the thesis statement made by myself, I wrote the first draft. Then we were grouped to modify the first draft. My draft was viewed by my group mates. They gave me valuable suggestions for the poor draft one. I also read others’ draft in my group and thought for my opinions. From the draft one, I learned the basic skills to write articles, for examples, the title and authors of the story which was discussed should appear in the first of the story.
Then I modified the draft one and draft two issued. The draft two was commented by our instructor Mr. Ron. Then I learned that I failed to show my statement clearly. Then I modified it again to prove my thesis statement more strongly. Then draft three is the final version.
During the class I learned more from Mr. Ron as well as my classmates in the class. I will work hard in future and use what I learned in the class and practice more to enhance my writing skills.
Yours sincerely,
Yi Chen
Essay Draft Three
Fate Is Influenced by Attitude
Many people say that, man proposes, God disposes. I believe it, but not the whole scope. For many things, although the final results lie with God, God has already prepared several final results for people to choose. When unlucky and unsatisfying things happen in life, keeping an optimistic attitude towards life and avoiding being greedy is the correct way.
“The Necklace” written by Guy de Maupassant in France tells a story that a necklace mastered the life of a family. Mathilde borrowed a necklace from her friend, Mme. Forestier to attend a grand ball but accidentally lost it. In order to return the luxuries necklace back to her friend, Mathilde and her husband worked hard and toughly for many years and finally found that the necklace her friend lent her was a fake one. The miserable fate of the couple lies with God partly by the poor economic condition of them, but what is more important is the attitude of the host Mathilde and her husband, which determines their tortuous destiny in the end.
At the first, the family was so poor that Mathilde “dressed plainly”[P38] and “suffered ceaselessly”[P38]. The beautiful inexistent jewel and dress made her envy the women of her rank dressed in luxurious style. She expected the gallant adornment for a long time, which foreshadowed the followed story. This is the first step to direct their life. It is true that Mathilde’s family is poor and cannot provide enough money to support her to dress herself beautifully and brilliantly. Compared with those rich women, the dramatis persona seems pathetic. However, whether she is really pathetic or not is up to her attitude. Optimistic women keep living happily even if they are poor. Their eyes are focusing on the delight in the life but not contrasting themselves with rich women in dress styles. If she could hold a positive attitude and be content with her life, without envying other women luxurious jewels and dresses, she would avoid the miserable ending.
Then the story came to the subject. Her husband told her to take part in a ball. Contrary to his expectations, Mathilde “threw the invitation on the table with disdain”[P39] and raised the essential problem which had depressed her for long, “what do you want me to put on my back?”[P39]. The husband loved his wife deeply enough to buy her a pretty dress, but he is so needy that he could not pay for a single jewel for Mathilde any more, since he had already paid four hundred francs for the dress. Then, he proposed to borrow one from Mme. Forestier. This is the second step to guide their fate. As they are poor, why must Mathilde attend the ball in luxurious dress? Her husband suggested “the dress you go to the theater in”[P39] and it “looks very well to me”[P39]. But Mathilde could not stand the style of dress. She did not realize that the dress just was the façade and was not as important as she thought. After her husband promised to give her four hundred francs for the new dress, Mathilde still wanted a jewel and refused to accept her husband’s suggestion “You might wear natural flowers”. In the final analysis, Mathilde was too peacockish and accented on the attire that she ignored her financial difficulty at all. She was willing to use every single method to get a luxurious necklace for her to show off in the ball.
Mathilde came to Mme. Forestier and asked for a jewel. Mme. Forestier helped her generously. At first nothing caught Mathilde’s eye until Mme. Forestier brought out more. These facts all determined that Mathilde would borrow a “superb necklace of diamonds”[P41]. Mathilde attended the ball with her amour-propre satisfied greatly. At the ball, Mathilde “danced with intoxication, with passion, made drunk by pleasure, forgetting all”[P41]. She was intoxicated in the dress and jewel. However, the most dramatic turn came to them on that day. Mathilde “no longer had the necklace”[P42] and couldn’t find it anywhere. She lost the jewel not belonging to her. What they could do to make up for her carelessness was to buy an identical one by working hard. Everyone may lose something at some time. Losing one jewel will not cause one’s life to change in a general way. However, Mathilde chose not to tell the owner of the necklace about the truth, being afraid of scolding. If she had told the truth to Forestier, things might have a favorable turn. Her lacking in braveness leads to her satiric tragedy further.
After several years’ woeful life, Mathilde and her husband saved up enough money to pay for the necklace and brought it back to the owner. But one day they were informed that the necklace they lost “was paste”[P44]. Although the story ends here and does not tell the continued plot, they must have been gloomy. Would Mathilde be mad? If they had known the necklace was fake before, they would continue enjoying their life. Maybe this result is what they deserve.
So many conditional clauses and if only one condition failed, the end would not look as the same as before at all. The reasons I just list seem to be objective and not changeable, but the result still could be changed if Mathilde could change herself. God has prepared several results for us to choose, the result subject depends on what attitude people choose to hold. In this story, although Mathilde’s family is poor, which could not be changed by Mathilde, she could change her miserable fate by correcting her erroneous thoughts and vanity if only she know the true meaning of life. The true meaning of life is not envying others what they have by comparing with them everyday, but being content with one’s lot, treasuring the things one already had. People should understand that pursue is endless in the world. What people should pursue is the things that one can afford to get it or the things can be got by making some effort. Those things which are not matching to one’s status should not be pursued. Those who are eager to pursue unattainable things will pay for their greed in the end.
Attitude determines life. What attitude one holds, what life one deserves. A person who does not have strong desires can always live happily because he is always content with his current life although he may not have huge amount of money. On contrary, a person who has a strong desire to things he cannot get will live a hard life because he always wants something new although he has plenty of money. In order to live a happy life, one should hold positive attitude including being honest, contented and brave towards life.
Essay Draft Two
Fate Is Influenced Artificially
Many people say that, man proposes, God disposes. I believe it, but not the whole scope. I think that although the final results lie with God, God has already prepared several final results for people to choose. Although sometimes we feel unlucky and castdown, we should still work hard, for the existing good ending.
“The Necklace” written by Guy de Maupassant in France tells a story that a necklace mastered the life of a family. Mathilde borrowed a necklace from her friend, Mme. Forestier to attend a grand ball but accidentally lost it. In order to pay the necklace back for her friend, Mathilde and her husband worked hard and toughly for several years and finally found that they just need not live such a heavy life. The fate of the couple lie with God, by the critical necklace. First, I will list the evidence of the fact that the objective situation lead their life tortuously to the end. All the evidences are all passive and objective to the host Mathilde.At the first, the family is so poor that Mathilde “dressed plainly”[P38] and “suffered ceaselessly”[P38]. The beautiful inexistent jewel and dress made her envy the women of her rank dressed in the luxurious style. She expected the gallant adornment for a long time, which foreshadowed the followed story. This is the first step to direct their life. If Mathilde had only a few ,but not many, jewels and dresses to make up herself more prettily, the result would come to another ending.
Then the story came to the subject. Her husband told her to take part in a ball. Contrary to his expectations, Mathilde “threw the invitation on the table with disdain”[P39] and raised the essential problem which had depressed her for long, “what do you want me to put on my back?”[P39]. The husband loved his wife deeply enough to buy her a pretty dress, but he is so needy that he could not pay for a single jewel for Mathilde any more, since he had already paid four hundred francs for the dress. Then, he proposed to borrow one from Mme. Forestier. This is the second step to guide their fate. If they had enough money to pay for only a single jewel, they would not need to borrow jewels from others.
Mathilde came to Mme. Forestier and asked for a jewel. Mme. Forestier helped her generously. At first nothing caught Mathilde’s eye until Mme. Forestier brought out more. These facts all determined that Mathilde would borrow a “superb necklace of diamonds”[P41]. If Mme. Forestier hadn’t helped, or Forestier had not so much jewels, would Mathilde still borrow the very jewel that lead to the satiric tragedy?
Mathilde attended the ball and on that day the most dramatic turn came to them. Mathilde “no longer had the necklace”[P42] and couldn’t find it any more. What they could do to make up for the her careless was to work more hard to pay for the necklace. Everyone maybe loses something at some time. But she lost the jewel not belonging to her. If the jewel had not been lost, everything would have gone well, wouldn’t it?
After several years’ hard work, they saved up enough money to pay for the necklace and gave it back. But one day they got the fact that the necklace they lost “was paste”[P44]. Although the story ended here and didn’t tell the continued plot, they must have been gloomy, I think. If they had known the necklace was fake, they would continue enjoying their life.
So many conditional clauses and if only one condition failed, the end would not look as the same as before at all. That’s all the objective condition that we could not change because they caused by external factors, not ourselves. I believe that everything will cause a few changes which cause others again. Then, can we try to do something to avoid or change the result not relying on other factors? As we could not change objective things, why not changing ourselves?
The reasons I just list seem to be objective and fixed and not changeable, but the result still could be changed if the host chose another route. As I said before, God has prepared several results for us to choose. Then I will list the corresponding factor that Mathilde could change.
First, it was the truth that Mathilde’s family was so poor that it could admit her to dress herself very pretty and brilliantly and outstandingly, but so many poor women in the world there were! Optimistic women will be happy even if they were poor. They will find the delight in the life but not contrast themselves with the rich women in the dress style. Let alone Mathilde had a excellent husband which loved her very much. It should be really happy. If she could enjoy her life and enjoy the husband and not always be thinking of the luxury jewels and dresses, she would be happy forever, I believe.
It’s true that they were poor. Just as they were poor, why must Mathilde attend the ball in luxurious dress. Her husband suggest “the dress you go to the theater in”[P39] and it “looks very well to me”[P39]. But Mathilde couldn’t stand the style of dress. She didn’t know the dress just was the façade and was not as important as she realized. After the husband admit to give her four hundred francs for the new dress, Mathilde still wanted a jewel and couldn’t accept the suggestion her husband gave that “You might wear natural flowers”. It would be distinctive and look nice. But she couldn’t accept. If she hadn’t accented on the attire and not been so pettish, she would not borrow the necklace and the continued story would start again.
Mathilde went to Mme. Forestier to borrow a jewel and attended the ball. At the ball, Mathilde “danced with intoxication, with passion, made drunk by pleasure, forgetting all”[P41]. She was intoxicated in the dress and jewel. That was a factor which made her careless to lose the necklace. If she had remembered the necklace was borrowed from others and paid more attention to the jewel, perhaps the jewel would not be lost so easily, at least probably could be found again.
After the woeful life when they toil fully to pay back the lost necklace, they got to know that the necklace was fake. Would Mathilde be mad? The story didn’t tell the end, but it still was a factor that could be controlled by Mathilde, herself. If she accepted the situation and became bright, she would be happy again. But would she?
What I want to say is that although the objective object Mathilde could not change, she can still change as possible as she can, if only she wanted. Perhaps even if she tried hard, but the end would still come badly. The word FATE is only to be used here, to comfort the people that pay much but harvest a little. Saying FATE is only a way of comfort, not the excuse to escape the work. Mathilde’s fate was poor, but it was only the fate. It included the behavior that she did, the choice that she selected. What she did also influenced her life.
Though the planning lies with man, the outcome with Heaven, only if man plans, it will just be impossible to succeed. If man doesn’t plan, it will not succeed forever. The life will be happy only if we believe the life is happy. What we should do is only to do what we think of as right, which directs us happy.
Essay Draft One
Fate Is Influenced Artificially
Many people say that, man proposes, God disposes. I believe it, but not the whole scope. I think that although the final results lie with God, God has already prepared several final results for people to choose. People should still work hard, for the existing good ending.
“The Necklace” tells a story that a necklace mastered the life of a family. The fate of the couple lie with God, by the critical necklace. First, I will list the evidence of the fact that the objective situation lead their life tortuously to the end.
At the first, the family is so poor that Mme. Loisel “dressed plainly”[P38] and “suffered ceaselessly”[P38]. The beautiful inexistent jewel and dress made her envy the women of her rank dressed in the luxurious style. She expected the gallant adornment for a long time, which foreshadowed the followed story. This is the first step to direct their life. If Mme. Loisel had only a few ,but not many, jewels and dresses to make up herself more prettily, the result would come to another ending.
Then the story came to the subject. Her husband told her to take part in a ball. Contrary to his expectations, Mme. Loisel “threw the invitation on the table with disdain”[P39] and raised the essential problem which had depressed her for long, “what do you want me to put on my back?”[P39]. The husband loved his wife deeply enough to buy her a pretty dress, but he is so needy that he could not pay for a single jewel for Mme. Loisel any more, since he had already paid four hundred francs for the dress. Then, he proposed to borrow one from the Mme. Forestier. This is the second step to guide their fate. If they had enough money to pay for only a single jewel, they would not need to borrow jewels from others.
Mme. Loisel came to Mme. Forestier and asked for a jewel. Mme. Forestier helped her generously. At first nothing caught Mme. Loisel’s eye until Mme. Forestier brought out more. These facts all determined that Mme. Loisel would borrow a “superb necklace of diamonds”[P41]. If Mme. Forestier hadn’t helped, or Forestier had not so much jewels, would Mme. Loisel still borrow the very jewel that lead to the satiric tragedy?
Mme. Loisel attended the ball and on that day the most dramatic turn came to them. Mme. Loisel “no longer had the necklace”[P42] and couldn’t find it any more. What they could do to make up for the her careless was to work more hard to pay for the necklace. Everyone maybe loses something at some time. But she lost the jewel not belonging to her. If the jewel had not been lost, everything would have gone well, wouldn’t it?
After several years’ hard work, they saved up enough money to pay for the necklace and gave it back. But one day they got the fact that the necklace they lost “was paste”[P44]. Although the story ended here and didn’t tell the continued plot, they must have been gloomy, I think. If they had known the necklace was fake, they would continue enjoying their life.
So many conditional clauses and if only one condition failed, the end would not look as the same as before at all. That’s all the objective condition that we could not change because they caused by external factors, not ourselves. I believe that everything will cause a few changes which cause others again. Then, can we try to do something to avoid or change the result not relying on other factors? As we could not change objective things, why not changing ourselves?
The reasons I just list seem to be objective and fixed and not changeable, but the result still could be changed if the host chose another route. As I said before, God has prepared several results for us to choose. Then I will list the corresponding factor that Mme. Loisel could change.
First, it was the truth that Mme. Loisel’s family was so poor that it could admit her to dress herself very pretty and brilliantly and outstandingly, but so many poor women in the world there were! Optimistic women will be happy even if they were poor. They will find the delight in the life but not contrast themselves with the rich women in the dress style. Let alone Mme. Loisel had a excellent husband which loved her very much. It should be really happy. If she could enjoy her life and enjoy the husband and not always be thinking of the luxury jewels and dresses, she would be happy forever, I believe.
It’s true that they were poor. Just as they were poor, why must Mme. Loisel attend the ball in luxurious dress. Her husband suggest “the dress you go to the theater in”[P39] and it “looks very well to me”[P39]. But Mme. Loisel couldn’t stand the style of dress. She didn’t know the dress just was the façade and was not as important as she realized. After the husband admit to give her four hundred francs for the new dress, Mme. Loisel still wanted a jewel and couldn’t accept the suggestion her husband gave that “You might wear natural flowers”. It would be distinctive and look nice. But she couldn’t accept. If she hadn’t accented on the attire and not been so pettish, she would not borrow the necklace and the continued story would start again.
Mme. Loisel went to Mme. Forestier to borrow a jewel and attended the ball. At the ball, Mme. Loisel “danced with intoxication, with passion, made drunk by pleasure, forgetting all”[P41]. She was intoxicated in the dress and jewel. That was a factor which made her careless to lose the necklace. If she had remembered the necklace was borrowed from others and paid more attention to the jewel, perhaps the jewel would not be lost so easily, at least probably could be found again.
After the woeful life when they toil fully to pay back the lost necklace, they got to know that the necklace was fake. Would Mme. Loisel be mad? The story didn’t tell the end, but it still was a factor that could be controlled by Mme. Loisel, herself. If she accepted the situation and became bright, she would be happy again. But would she?
What I want to say is that although the objective object we could not change, we can still change as possible as we can, if only we wanted. Perhaps even if we try hard, but the end still comes badly. The word FATE is only to be used here, to comfort the people that pay much but harvest a little. Saying FATE is only a way of comfort, not the excuse to escape the work. Mme. Loisel’s fate was poor, but it was only the fate. It included the behavior that she did, the choice that she selected. What she did also influenced her life.
Though the planning lies with man, the outcome with Heaven, only if man plans, it will just be impossible to succeed. If man doesn’t plan, it will not succeed forever. The life will be happy only if we believe the life is happy. What we should do is only to do what we think of as right, which directs us happy.Final-timed Writing
Directions: From The Necklace, what might have been the quality of Mme. Loisel’s life if she had not lost the necklace? Is her life better or worse now? (100%)
The Necklace tells the story of the tragedy that Mme. Loisel’s worked hard for the lost necklace and they had never been happy in her life. Then what would have happened if she had not lost the necklace? Perhaps she need not have worked so hard to pay back for the necklace, but still she would not be happy since the misfortune came from her vanity.
Before Mme. Loisel lost the necklace, she always complained about her poor life, griped that she lived without elaborate dresses, swank jewels and gallant flat. She fantasized to own the luxurious decoration and wallow in her dream. She dreamt having the jewelry all the time and once there were a chance that she could occupy them, she would just occupy them as sooner as possible. One side, if she had not lost the necklace, she would not need to work so hard for the necklace. At least she had not needed to become so tired and pine. But her life would not turn to happiness. She would still live in a miserable life with full of expectation. Perhaps due to her desire, other tragedies would occur to her. For instance, a cheat came to her and sold her a fake jewel for amounts of money.
So as long as she was still so vanity, her life would not been better in some way. In the way of matter, she would not toil so hard. But in the way of spirit, she would never be blest. She indulged herself with inexistent jewels and dresses. Every time she attended some evening or meet, she would always worry about her façade. She would fear that she was not so beautiful as others and felt low-down. So how could she enjoy her life? She would be afraid of the dresses and jewels in all her life unless she sometime was enlightened that she would not insist on the meaningless point. Fortunately, she has an excellence husband. He loved her very much and cared her a lot. She would be comforted only a little from her husband.
Reading Log
The Necklace:
Since I have read the story, it doesn't attract me any longer. It just constructs a tragedy of fate with vanity of girls.
There is nothing wrong with vanity that everybody has. The essential point is how to face it and how to deal with it. As a woman, she can like gorgeous jewels and clothes and she can tries to get them even only for a little time. The only disaster is that she does lose it. At this point, there is no relation between the vanity and the tragedy. Then it is only a tragedy and has no further meaning in it. It may occur to one that if she didn't try to dress herself, this tragedy would not happen any more. It's meaningless. Nobody could predict the future. The assumption is based on the fact we have known what happened. There would be another thousands of assumption that are comedies or tragedies. Which would happen? No one knows.
The Americanization of Shadrach Cohen:
Perhaps the conflict comes from the environment and the diffenent culture. The father clings to his own thought and live his own life. Rather than generation gap, I would consider the reason as the variance of life values between the father and the sons.
We may have different values because we have dissimilar experience. The values may be changed some time just like the sons in the story. We modify our values as the age grows. Sometimes it's hard to change others' values unless some special event influnces one deeply. And it's no need to change others' values since we can just change the environment we live or the people we associate with.
The Grass-Eaters
When I read the first paragraph, I was puzzled by the adjectives describing the father and the son. However, I got the idea of content when I went on reading.
The leading character in the article suffered from a very terrible living environment, but he still enjoyed himself and kept happy all the time. How did he manage to do that? The key to his happiness is his optimistic attitude towards life, his passion of living and his values of the world, which helped him to succeed in finding enjoyment in such tough life and avoid being desperate.
What can we learn from this man's experience? If we were in his situation, what kind of attitude would we choose towards our life? Does bad situation mean life without hope? No, as I discussed before, the key factor is our internal attitude and will, not the surroundings. To be happy, we should learn from the man's worshipful spirit, relax ourselves, try to find the cheerful things in life and skip unpleasant things that add to trouble. Remember that we should live for happiness and enjoy life all the time.